Episode 9 Season 4: Why The Pursuit of Peace and Acceptance is Everything

[00:00:00] Hello beloveds and welcome to Christian Emotional Recovery, a podcast for those who are survivors of childhood trauma, emotional neglect and narcissistic abuse. This podcast is hosted by Rachel Leroy, a college professor and trauma survivor. Many of us spend years trying to heal and don't get anywhere.

[00:00:28] We don't always target the trauma itself, which is so often what keeps us stuck. This podcast is where faith meets science. Rachel is an emotional healing expert with 20 years of experience applying healing modalities that helped her start making progress after nothing else worked.

[00:00:49] She'll show you how to do the same. Each week, we'll cover a topic that will show you how to heal trauma for good. Please check out our website and show notes at Christianemotionalrecovery.com Enjoy the Facebook community, Trauma Survivors Unite, Christian Emotional Recovery

[00:01:09] Hello everyone and welcome to Season 4 Episode 9 of Christian Emotional Recovery I'm your host, Rachel Leroy, and we are moving right along as the muppets scene, I've said that before.

[00:01:31] Today we are going to talk about why the pursuit of peace and acceptance is everything. Why the pursuit of peace and acceptance is everything. But before we jump into that, please remember that if you would like to support the podcast you're helping other trauma survivors like you.

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[00:02:46] And so for today's episode I wanted to go ahead and jump straight in and today I just have a theme and I'm going to share what God lays on my heart

[00:02:58] And a lot of like most of the podcast episodes are either inspirational and encouraging or they're more educational and empowering And so some of them are research based and some of them are more encouraging talks. This one is a little different because I'm using a little philosophy

[00:03:15] If you'll forgive me and bear with me here I believe that wisdom can come from a lot of different places. Of course, I primary source of wisdom is God the word of God Jesus But I do

[00:03:27] Believe that we can find wisdom in different places and see those common threads between these different Sources and

[00:03:35] So there's a book that had a large influence on me when I was younger called the Dow of poo the Dow of poo that's T-o the Dow of poo and it's by Benjamin Hoff And it's put out by ping-win I'll put it in the show notes now

[00:03:49] Some people may or may not want to read the book that's up to you use your discernment pray about it But this book as it like I said has really helped me a lot. It's helped me to

[00:04:01] In times when I've struggled with things, it's helped me to find peace and acceptance It's helped me because my mind tends to naturally complicate things some of that may be trauma But I think some of that's just an ingrained

[00:04:15] Sort of an innate quality that I have but my mind tends to Work in a complex way and so this book is helped me to work on simplicity and to pursue peace

[00:04:28] And in my opinion, I think those are two things that the Bible also if you look at across the board Simplicity and peace are two types of wisdom that God wants us to pursue as well

[00:04:42] And as trauma survivors and as abuse survivors and survivors of forms of neglect A lot of us tend to be in a situation where things can get bogged down Things can get complex where we struggle with things where it's hard to accept things I know

[00:04:58] I still working on that sometimes I feel hypocritical because I'm still struggling with a lot of these But I also teach this but I'm working on it and that's one thing is while I'm working on the podcast

[00:05:10] It holds me accountable to certain kinds of behaviors that I'm about no means doing great at this That I do work on it and I work on it every day

[00:05:19] And I think that when it comes to coming to God, God wants us to come to us just as we are Just like the song just as I am and he wants us to come with our scars, our warts and all

[00:05:32] And part of acceptance is knowing and accepting where we are what is And our response to those things You know we probably all heard our whole lives that what happens is less important than our response to it

[00:05:48] And while I'm not going to sit here and say that this to trauma survivors over emphasizing that it is true

[00:05:55] That how we accept things and how we deal with things and how we respond to things has a lot of impact on the piece that we have in our life Which is one of the fruits of the spirit and simplicity I believe is an extension of peace

[00:06:10] It's another virtue that we can live by now I don't want to throw platitudes at you and stuff because there's just so much that I know I don't know I don't know everything and even though I have this podcast and I share ideas on it

[00:06:25] I want you to know that I can always be wrong and that when it comes to being a teacher or someone preaches that there should be a level of humility there You can have a certain authority but also have humility

[00:06:37] And there should always be humility in whatever we're teaching because I don't think that anybody has all the answers I don't think anyone person has all the answers except maybe Jesus And that's you know that's one of those obvious things but no mortal human has all the answers

[00:06:58] We can always be wrong and I think even when we're talking about our faith There's a lot of extremism and fundamentalism that is I believe if you look underneath that kind of mindset when it comes to Christianity Because there's grasping

[00:07:17] Fear and grasping are not fruits of the spirit Gentleness and meekness come from a sense of acceptance and simplicity They come from a sense of safety And this is just my humble opinion that those go hand in hand and that you can't be arrogant and

[00:07:37] No, thank you know everything and think you're right about everything Even think your interpretation of the Bible is the only right one I'm not talking about fundamental Christian principles that we all agree on Okay, so show me some grace here

[00:07:51] But I am very hesitant to call someone a false teacher Because they have outright calls nothing but harm to people And that also does not that does not reveal the fruits of the spirit And so I'm very hesitant to call specific teachers out and say their false teachers

[00:08:10] Just because we disagree with somebody's Somebody's Doctrine on something or their interpretation on certain things And we agree on others that does not make them a false teacher Because they're opinion may be different than ours But maybe they think where a false teacher too It gets complicated, okay?

[00:08:29] I'm not trying to get into theology I'm simply saying that it's good to take a step back And keep an open mind and not judge And keep those fundamentals in mind We do need some kind of discernment of course When we go into these things, right?

[00:08:45] So you're probably thinking what is she talking about So what I'm talking about here is the pursuit of peace and acceptance And why it's everything And how that sort of flows into our theology How we integrate our beliefs and our faith into trauma healing

[00:09:00] And how we pursue that in our everyday lives Just our philosophy for living And so I wanted to talk a little bit more today about something that's philosophical And two sources that I wanted to use were the book called The Dahl of Poo By Benjamin Hoff

[00:09:17] And I also wanted to read some from Ecclesiastes I don't know why, but Ecclesiastes and lamentations Are not really in Vogue these days Among a lot of Christianity at least not in the United States And I love lamentations And I love Ecclesiastes There's some heavy stuff in there

[00:09:38] But it's just there's a lot of great wisdom in those books And I also love proverves and Psalms Those are my favorite books in the entire Bible Even though Jesus is everything I love the wisdom of a lot of the Old Testament

[00:09:51] So I wanted to share some of that How does that relate to trauma survivors? How does that relate to how we live our everyday lives Because peace is everything And people that survive trauma

[00:10:02] A lot of those people like us are in fight or fight a lot of the time And a lot of that's in the body But there's also a lot of it in the mind And a lot of it is how we choose to respond to things

[00:10:14] Not just the practices we do but how we choose to respond to things So I wanted to share a little bit from the Dow of Poo And just jump right in So this book is let me just read the description

[00:10:25] Because this will help you to know what it's about I'm assuming most of you know When either Poo, most of us he was a beloved character Maybe we watched the cartoons Or we read the children's books Or we watched the movies

[00:10:40] But when you're the Poo, I love when you're the Poo It's a great story, it's a great Cartoon, the characters, each represent different aspects of ourselves And different characteristics that may be dominant in certain people I don't like to pigeonhole and just categorize people

[00:10:57] So this is a bit of an oversimplification The book how it sort of categorizes people But just bear with me because it does have good wisdom And there's a lot that we can learn from it So the how of Poo, it says

[00:11:10] The Dow of Poo, the Dow of Poo In which is revealed one of the world's great Dow is masters Isn't Chinese or a venerable philosopher But is in fact none other than effortlessly calm Still reflective bear, a meal when he the Poo

[00:11:27] While he or frets, that's me, I'm an he or her And piglet hesitates, I have somebody very close to me that's a piglet And rabbit calculates and al pontificates Poo just is I'll say that again when you're frets in piglet hesitates

[00:11:44] And rabbit calculates and al pontificates, Poo just is And that's a clue to the secret wisdom of the Dowists So this is just a philosophy that teaches us to accept things as they are To live a simple life and to try not to overcome

[00:12:03] And to be able to communicate things, I know easier said than done But sometimes studying this stuff and reminding ourselves can be very important So there's a lot of connective tissue between the Dow of Poo And between some of the scriptures and ecclesiasties

[00:12:17] And all the scriptures on peace in the Bible, I'm not going to read those today But I just wanted to go through a few key passages in the book So you can get an idea of the concept

[00:12:28] And so can you your spirit so you can find some acceptance and some peace And to realize that you don't always have to be striving Even in your practice, sometimes it's okay to take a break Sometimes it's okay just to be Just being, there's nothing more to it

[00:12:44] You don't add anything to it when you're just there and you just be And it's that simple, it's a weird way of putting it But it is true, oh, the Dow Day Chink is a book that was written by Loutsay He is a Chinese philosopher

[00:13:02] And so bear with me, a lot of this is based on the beliefs of the Chinese in this time period So a lot of it doesn't necessarily go along with Christianity

[00:13:14] But like I said, if you'll just bear with me, the wisdom out of it is what we're looking at I choose to take the wisdom out of things and what I don't agree with, I You know, I just leave that

[00:13:22] But it says, earth was in essence a reflection of heaven Run by the same laws, not by the laws of men These laws affected not only the spinning of distant planets But activities of the birds and the forest and the fish and the sea

[00:13:35] According to Loutsay, the more man interfered with natural balance Produced in governed by the universal laws And there are scientific laws that govern the universe, right? The further away, the harmony retreated into the distance, I'll say it again

[00:13:49] The more man interfered with the natural balance produced in governed by the universal laws The further away, the harmony retreated into the distance So this isn't just about how we interfere with the natural world it is And that's important

[00:14:05] But it's also about how we do this within our own lives, right? The more forcing, the more trouble, whether heavier light, weather dry, faster slow Everything has its own nature already within it Which could not be violated without causing difficulties

[00:14:20] When abstract and arbitrary rules were imposed from the outside Struggle was inevitable, only then did life become sour To Loutsay, the world was not a setter of traps But a teacher, a valuable lesson, its lessons needed to be learned Just as it's laws to be followed

[00:14:38] Then all would go well Rather than turn away from the world of dust as Loutsay advised others To join the dust of the world Operating behind everything in heaven and earth He called down the way

[00:14:53] A basic principle of Loutsay's teaching was that the way of the universe could not be adequately described in words And that it would be insulting both to its unlimited power into the intelligent human mind to attempt to do so Still, its nature could be understood

[00:15:09] And those who cared the most about it, and the life from which it was inseparable understood it best So we believe that God created the universe And I believe that, and that God put the universe in motion And that God is sovereign, I believe that too

[00:15:24] But I do believe that there are laws that govern the universe And we can't violate those laws And when we're not in harmony with those laws And the Bible even talks about a lot of these things about human nature and about wisdom

[00:15:39] We can't just go against the flow of everything and expect to get a good result Acceptance of things as they are that doesn't mean we like it It doesn't mean we give into bad things and just say, oh well that's just the way it is

[00:15:53] It's not about helplessness It's about acceptance It's about simplicity It's about learning to accept things as they are And going with that flow while we're on our pursuit of peace Now the pursuit of peace and acceptance is a bit of a paradox

[00:16:09] It's an irony because you don't pursue peace in the sense that you strive and you grasp for it You don't pursue acceptance in the sense that you try really hard to maintain it It's more something you are and that you be

[00:16:24] I know that's the weird way of putting it But like it's sometimes in the non-effort of something that we find a flow It's sometimes just being with something and not trying to change it and not struggling against it

[00:16:40] You can still work on something you can still improve something without fighting against it Without complicating it like I said I'm preaching to myself today Baby I'm preaching to myself So Basically this philosophy says is simply a particular way of appreciating learning from and working with whatever happens

[00:17:02] In everyday life from the Taoist point of view the natural result of this harmonious way of living is happiness You might say that happy serenity is the most noticeable characteristic of the Taoist personality And a subtle sense of humor is apparent in the most profound

[00:17:19] Taoist writings and then a little bit down it says but three working in harmony with life circumstances Taoists understanding changes what others may perceive as negative into something positive From the Taoist point of view sourness and bitterness come from the interfering and unappreciative mind

[00:17:37] Life itself when understood and utilized for what it is is sweet This is the message of the vintage tasters Just gives you an idea of how Just living in harmony with what is that doesn't mean that if something's a moral we just like oh, that's okay

[00:17:53] But like you know that you can't change other people You can only tell people how you feel about things and then you can only go about your life You can pray for people you can work on healing yourself

[00:18:05] But that's different than striving against something it's different than struggling It's different than meddling and interfering does that make sense people have their own lives And we have to accept and respect their choices whether we agree with them or not

[00:18:18] I know I struggle with that too. That's hard Especially if somebody's doing things that are hurtful You may have to separate yourself from that person or if they're doing things that are harming themselves

[00:18:29] You may only be able to pray for them and encourage them and you know if you've told them how you feel say your piece But you can't say it over and over and over because that's only going to make them retreat and go the other way

[00:18:40] And life is the same way if we fight against it the more we resist something the more it persists Oh, I hate that. I wish it wasn't that way, but that is a law of the universe

[00:18:49] And if you think about your experiences, you know that's true. It is true So that's why it's good instead of trying to push against something and fight something It's better to try to accept something and then try to problem solve

[00:19:03] Floating with what is okay, just true in the philosophy of martial arts And all of that it's about flow. It's about a natural flow and acceptance of Life now. I don't know if I'm pronouncing this right, but it says poo, poo

[00:19:19] This is talking about when either poo, but it's pee apostrophe you. I've read this book like four times But anyway, it says poo the uncarve block and the classic Dallas manner We won't try hard to explain too much because the only that would only confuse things

[00:19:34] And because it would leave the impression that it was all only an intellectual idea that could be left on the intellectual level and ignored The whole point of this is that it's not intellectual. It's something you feel

[00:19:44] It's when you just are when you be so to speak. Even God says I am that I am So God just is and it's just being in the moment and accepting things And it says the essence of the principle of the uncarve block

[00:19:59] Is that things in their original simplicity contain their own natural power power that is easily spoiled and lost when the simplicity is changed For the written character poo, the typical Chinese dictionary would give a definition of natural simple plain and honest Natural simple plain and honest

[00:20:18] And even the Bible talks about letting your word be your word and leaving it at that and being plain and straightforward and simple It says though poo is composed of two separate characters combined. The first radical or root meaning one is that for tree or wood

[00:20:34] The second one the phonetic of sound giving one is the character for dance growth or thick just bear with me here So from tree and a thick it or wood not cut comes the meaning of things in their natural state

[00:20:47] Things in their natural state what is generally represented in English versions of Taoist writing is the uncarve block The basic Taoist principle of class not only to things in their natural beauty and function but people as well or bears

[00:21:00] So the whole book is basically poo having conversations with the other characters and them interacting and seeing how poo is different and how he just is And he's not struggling or pontificating or trying to hard or anything like that or fretting

[00:21:19] It says though but no matter how he may sing to others, especially to those food by appearances, poo the uncarve block is able to accomplish what he does Because he is simple-minded

[00:21:30] As any old Taoist walking out in the woods can tell you simple-minded does not necessarily mean stupid Even the Bible says you can only come into me as a little child and simplicity is the epitome of childlike quality

[00:21:44] So it says it's rather significant that the Taoist ideal of this is still calm, is still calm reflecting mirror-minded the uncarve block

[00:21:55] And it's rather significant that poo rather than the thinkers rabbit, owl and e-or is the true hero of winning the poo in the house at poo corner So that's also interesting too. Those kind of characters resonate with us for a reason right? Because we admire their qualities

[00:22:11] And so it's not cleverness, it's not intellect, it's not Trying so hard and striving and fretting that gets us somewhere, it's acceptance, it's flowing with things, it's just being right?

[00:22:27] So I'm just going to read a little bit more from this and then we'll shift to something else but So it's not about striving It's about living a life that's simple, it's about not dumbing things down but being simple. It's about not trying too hard and striving

[00:22:44] But going with the flow a little more. So what is it about poo that makes him so lovable? Well, it says simplicity, the simplicity of the uncarve block And the nicest thing about simplicity is its useful wisdom

[00:22:58] The what is there to eat variety wisdom you can get at, I love that. Poo can't describe the uncarve block to us in words, he just is it. That's the nature of the uncarve block So you observe this quality and you practice this quality

[00:23:16] If you start overthinking it then it's just, it's like a mirage It's like if you chase it it disappears But if you just sort of settle into it when you see it You know what it is and you just practice it while you're there

[00:23:32] It's tricky at first but the more you practice it the more it makes sense The more it is the nature of life itself But just a little bit more and then we'll talk about acceptance and peace in another

[00:23:43] Since looking at ecclesiasties, this is when you discard arrogance, complexity and a few other things that get in the way Sooner or later you will discover that simple childlike and mysterious secret Known as the uncarve block, life is fun

[00:23:58] And then a little further on it says from the state of the uncarve block comes the ability to enjoy the simple and the quiet The natural and the plain along with that comes the ability to do things spontaneously and have them work

[00:24:11] Odd is it may appear to others at times You've seen those people or things just come to them and they don't even seem complicated They don't seem to have some kind of deep philosophical root That's I mean, it's so frustrating because that is not, I'm just the opposite

[00:24:26] Right? But this is how we get at letting things come to us and letting them happen So it's not about striving and it's not about trying It's about allowing It's about letting things happen

[00:24:41] It's not that we're not doing anything but it's more like steering that it is controlling It says as Piglet put it in Winnie the Poo, Poo hasn't much brain But he never comes to any harm He does silly things and they turn out all right

[00:24:54] Okay, so that's just a little bit of it And there is a lot more And so when we struggle it says it's obvious isn't it? And yet you'd be surprised how many people violate this simple principle every day of their lives

[00:25:10] And try to fit square pegs into round holes Guilty and ignoring the clear reality that of things as they are And things as they are is capitalized here And then it says later on in other words everything has its own place and function

[00:25:27] That applies to people although many don't seem to realize it But as they are in the wrong job, the wrong marriage or the wrong house When you know and respect your own inner nature you know where you belong You also know where you don't belong

[00:25:41] One man's food is often another man's poison And what is glamorous and exciting to some can be a dangerous trap to others So everybody's different that's why I always talk about in the group

[00:25:51] And also on this channel give people grace to pray and discern what might be right for them And because even the Bible does talk about you know that some people need milk Another people need meat and that everybody's at a different place on their spiritual journey

[00:26:10] And that we need to accept that and respect that not be a stumbling block for other people That doesn't mean we don't teach that doesn't mean we don't resort That doesn't mean we don't encourage but those things need to be done very, very carefully with great care

[00:26:24] We know this if we've been in churches where we've experienced trauma And where our trauma has been dismissed at best and in some cases invalidated and even come from the church That's why simplicity and humility are so important and they're such

[00:26:38] They're just virtues that have been lost in our culture And that's one reason I want to talk about these because they're so important We don't need to forget about these So it just goes on and on but the Dow of who is a great book

[00:26:51] It's different than most things that I've read and it's in You know when I read it it might even be like what you know But if you start thinking about it without without overthinking It actually makes a lot of sense now

[00:27:06] I don't know how many of you have read ecclesiastes But I love ecclesiastes I'm one of those people that likes the life and death and earth And you know the time for this and the time for that kind of

[00:27:20] Scriptures I love those kinds of passages because it reminds us of things that are universal And it reminds us of things that are People that that are experienced trauma People that are in paths people that are highly sensitive They're more aware of these things in everyday life

[00:27:37] Where other people are like what? So you might be able to understand what I'm talking about a little more than the average person And ecclesiastes ecclesiastes 7 Talks a lot about the acceptance of things

[00:27:50] Now I'm going to read through some of this and some of this is kind of intense And some of it is even like what you know But just follow me here and I'm going to read it and then we'll talk about it

[00:28:00] Okay, this is still talking about acceptance This is still talking about going with the flow of things But in Scripture it talks more about what the nature of life is And that there's a place and a time for every one of those That's more how it's delivered in

[00:28:15] Old Testament scripture like ecclesiastes and Psalms and Proverbs and even Job is a hard one That's hard But I've read it several times and it's a very good book to read Read every now and especially for those that are suffering And dealing with difficulties and traumas

[00:28:32] But it says a good name is better than fine perfume And the day of death better than the day of birth It is better to go to a house of mourning than to a house of feasting For death is the destiny of everyone Yeah, a little intense

[00:28:45] And then it says the living should take this to heart First duration is better than laughter because a sad face is good for the heart The heart of the wise is the house of mourning But the heart of fools is the house of pleasure

[00:28:57] It is better to heed the review of a wise person than to listen to the song of fools Like the crackling of thorns under the pot So is the laughter of fools This too is meaningless I could be wrong here

[00:29:12] But what I think this scripture is talking about Is accepting everything as it is It kind of returns everything inside out Right? We don't normally think, oh well great Let's mourn That's great I think what it's saying here is that That's part of accepting life

[00:29:27] Is accepting all that comes with life The good and the bad That that is part of reality And fighting against that Wise people know That doesn't mean you just wallow in it But wise people know that good and bad come to everybody And that accepting that

[00:29:43] And finding peace even in those circumstances Is part of wisdom Right? And so it says the end of a matter is better than the beginning And patience is better than pride That's what I was talking about with the simplicity Right? Acceptance, patience

[00:30:00] Patience is when you're not fighting against something Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit For anger resides in the lap of fools Do not say why were the old days better than these For it is not wise to ask such questions

[00:30:11] I want to say I think it's natural to ask such questions But if we dwell on those, it can make us crazy And I've been in a place where I've almost lost my relationship with God Because I racked my brain with why suffering happens

[00:30:25] I don't know why suffering happens And that it made me believe that there isn't a God And that a good God would not allow that I don't have an answer to that But I've had to accept that maybe there is a good God who saw

[00:30:39] And that bad things still happen There is free will We are in a fallen state I don't believe in the worm theology Some people call it worm theology is oh I'm a terrible person I'm not worthy of anything And crawling around in the dirt

[00:30:54] You know kind of philosophy of life of how people are just Depraved in all that I mean people do some horrible things But we believe as a species have a lot of potential But it says wisdom like an inheritance is a good thing

[00:31:07] And benefits those who see the sun Wisdom is a shelter as money is a shelter But the advantage of knowledge is this Wisdom preserves those who have it So studying that's one reason I study philosophy That's one reason I study these different Philosophical systems because I like to

[00:31:25] Gling wisdom from what I can from them And I use what's called a filter system I'm not a sponge I'm a filter when it comes to some like down Wisdom obviously there are some things And they're that I don't agree with

[00:31:37] But there's a lot of good wisdom to be gling from it too But it includes Ecclesiastes 1313 It says consider what God has done Who can straighten what has been made crooked When times are good, be happy When times are bad, consider this

[00:31:52] God has made the one as well as the other Therefore no one can discover anything about their future It is in this It says in this meaningless life of mine I have seen both of these Remember that Solomon was the one that wrote Ecclesiastes

[00:32:07] I believe and then it says the righteous, pear-shing in their righteousness And the wicked living long in their wickedness Do not be overrighteous, neither be overwise Why destroy yourself Did you just hear that? The Bible said do not be overrighteous Neither be overwise, why destroy yourself

[00:32:22] Do not be overwicked and do not be a fool Why die before your time It is good to grasp the one and not let go of the other Whoever fears God will avoid all extremes And I'm afraid that that's something our culture has lost

[00:32:36] In Christians, a lot of them, not all of them especially Extremism is dangerous And that's why simplicity and compassion And acceptance and going with the flow And having wisdom and taking context of things and finding different sources of information Is so important

[00:32:56] Balance, I think is what this is talking about here It's talking about balance Acceptance is taking the good with the bad And that is balance Right? So it says wisdom makes one wise person more powerful than ten rulers in a city

[00:33:11] Indeed there is no one on earth who was righteous And no one who does what is right and never sins That's why I said we need to come to God as a little child We need to have humility And we need to be weak

[00:33:23] Do not pay attention to every word people say Or you may hear your servant cursing you For you know in your heart that many times you yourself have cursed others That's saying you can't meddle with everything You can't interfere with everything

[00:33:36] That's why sometimes it's best just to be It's been really, really hard But I like yesterday I was driving in traffic in Savannah And this guy goes driving by me And I was looking behind me

[00:33:47] There was this car that had been following me the whole time act in normal And so there was nobody that had come behind me And I was in the left lane So I hadn't been going slow and not let him back

[00:33:57] This guy comes by me in the right lane Speeding, tailgate, and another guy He just flicks me off at nowhere And unlike what did I do? I didn't do anything to him at all I thought about it And I was like maybe I missed something

[00:34:10] But there was nothing I missed And I don't know if he might have been flicking somebody else off But I was like okay Oh well whatever And there was a time I would have racked my brain The whole day trying to figure out what he was thinking

[00:34:22] That is a codependent thought But I've been able to let those things go I'm still struggling with it in my personal relationships But with people I don't know I'm like oh well I don't know him I don't know what he's trying to do

[00:34:33] And he was tailgateing this guy trying to pass him on in excellent So this guy was obviously having some issues And I was able to let that go Because I was like you know what I'm not going to get all up in that

[00:34:45] And try to rack my brain about that It's not worth my time, it's not worth my energy Part of it is how do I want to expend my energy Worry and fridding and meddling And struggling against things Takes so much energy It's exhausting And that's why

[00:35:01] Just taking a breath And just being and just accepting This is the way it's Sort of packaged in Ecclesiastes There's a lot different than the Dowdating But you can see those common threads And that connective tissue between these two Did you see that?

[00:35:17] It says do not pay attention to every word people say Or you may hear your servant cursing you For you know in your heart That many times you yourself have cursed others In other words nobody's perfect Let some things go And you know that's not the same thing

[00:35:32] It's not the same thing as setting boundaries And when somebody's continuously abusive And you protect yourself That's not the same thing at all But I teach balance on this channel Because that's what scripture says It says it right here And it says it all over the place

[00:35:50] In other places as well And then Ecclesiastes 23 It says all this I tested by wisdom And I said I am determined to be wise But this is beyond me Whatever exists Is far off And most profound Who can discover it So even Solomon do you remember

[00:36:07] If you've studied the Bible God Solomon asked God for wisdom And God gave him wisdom So Solomon here The wisest man probably in the world at the time Is saying This is beyond me He's got humility He's saying I don't know everything

[00:36:25] Everything is not for me to know Everything is not for me to try to control Wisdom It's ironic when he became wise He probably thought it would make him more powerful And it did in a worldly sense But it actually made him make And even the Bible says

[00:36:39] Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth And so I will say I am determined to be wise Is what he said But that this was beyond me Whatever exists is far off And most profound Who can discover it So I turned my mind to understand

[00:36:55] To investigate and search out wisdom And the scheme of things And to understand the stupidity of wickedness And the madness of folly I find more bitter than death The woman who is a snare Who's hard as a trap And whose hands are chains

[00:37:10] The man who pleases God will escape her But the sinner she will ensnare I take this to be more symbolic That it's about In you can even see that This could be about abusive relationships Right? The person that's manipulative The persons that's like a spider web

[00:37:26] Waiting for the flight to come back So they can trap them Those techniques that they use like hovering and love bombing And then they have you and their clutches And they control you and their energy vampire It's saying to avoid people like this

[00:37:39] It's saying to be vigilant and wise And to know who these people are And to avoid them That's actually what it's saying here And saying that it's stupid And it's folly to be that way So don't waste your time with people like this And then it says, look

[00:37:55] Says the teacher This is what I have discovered Adding one thing to another To discover the scheme of things While I was still searching But not finding I found one upright man among a thousand But not one upright woman among them This only have a found

[00:38:11] God created mankind upright But they have gone in search of many schemes So I don't the whole Not one upright woman among them I'm really not sure what that is I don't understand that script I'll be honest I'm not going to even pretend like I do

[00:38:27] But the wisdom that I get from here Is that God created mankind upright But they have gone in search of many schemes It's talking about the same thing In our natural state In the way God made us we are good

[00:38:39] And we need to try to keep it simple We need to try to accept things as they are We need to try to live a simple life And mind our own business And not be judgmental And live in balance Accept that everybody and everything Is a little different

[00:38:54] And that's okay Right? That's what I get from that That's the connective tissue I also see in The doubt of poo there Okay? That's the connective tissue I see And my favorite When my favorite Scriptures in the whole Bible That I wanted to share Like I said

[00:39:10] When trauma comes to us When suffering comes to us It's not about While owing in it It's not about learned helplessness Where we're like Oh well there's nothing I can do It's not about resignation It's about accepting What has happened Even if it sucks

[00:39:27] Even if it's not fair Say well that happened Okay, what can I do about it now And then working with What is to make things better Not struggling Not forcing but being gentle And kind to yourself And so even the Bible talks about In the ecclesiasties three

[00:39:45] It says there is a time for everything And a season for every activity Under the heavens A time to be born And a time to die A time to plant And a time to uproot A time to kill And a time to heal A time to heal

[00:39:59] All right A time to tear down And a time to build up A time to weep And a time to laugh A time to mourn And a time to dance So we're supposed to accept Our emotions And the full spectrum of them And flow with them

[00:40:12] That's part of life A time to scatter stones And a time to gather them A time to embrace And a time to refrain from embracing A time to search And a time to give up A time to keep And a time to throw away A time to tear

[00:40:27] And a time to mend A time to be silent And a time to speak A time of love And a time to hate A time for war And a time for peace And then it says What do workers gain from their toil?

[00:40:39] I've seen the burden God has laid on the human race He has made everything beautiful in its time He has also set eternity in the human heart Yet no one can fathom what God has done for And beginning to end In other words

[00:40:52] Some many people try to say I'm right about this There's no questioning What I say There's no questioning my interpretation I beg to differ When we're talking about the more granular things If faith I think that No one can fathom what God has done for

[00:41:07] And beginning to end And we need to keep that sense of all And that sense of wonder When the Bible talks about fear in God It's not talking about being afraid of God It's about being in all Of the power of God

[00:41:18] And the fact that we know so little When I look at For example a giant ocean And this is just this horizon That goes on forever I feel so small and so insignificant And yet I feel so much peace Because I don't know how to explain it

[00:41:34] You know what I'm talking about When you see this Just endless sky If stars where you can literally see the galaxy Seizing you're just incomplete All and you feel so tiny And insignificant And yet everything seems to be right With the universe

[00:41:46] I think that's what it's talking about here But I think that That doesn't mean we can't go to the stars That doesn't mean we don't discover things Within ourselves But there's a way to do it And then Solomon says I know that there is nothing better for people

[00:41:59] Than to be happy and to do good While they live And that's what I talk about That's basic That's what the Dow Of poo talks about That each of them may eat and drink Remember the eaten drink philosophy And find satisfaction in their toil

[00:42:14] This is the gift of God I know that everything God does will endure forever Nothing can be added to it And nothing taken from it God does it so that people will fear him And when I say when it says fear here I think it means being all

[00:42:28] I think it means humility And I think that's a form of worship When we're standing under Giant huge canopy of stars It's just so powerful and we feel so insignificant That we're just incomplete all And I think that's a form of worship When we acknowledge

[00:42:45] Where that came from and who created that Right Whatever it says whatever is has already been And what will be has been before And God will call the past to account And I saw something under the sun In the place of judgment Weakiness was there

[00:43:00] In the place of justice The wickedness was there I said to myself God will bring into judgment Both the righteous and the wicked For there will be a time for every activity A time to judge every deed I also said to myself As for humans God tests them

[00:43:16] So they may see that they are like the animals Surely the fate of human beings Is like that of the animals The same fate Awakes them both As one does So does the other All have the same breath Humans have no advantage over animals In everything is meaningless

[00:43:32] All to go to the same place All come from dust And to dust all return Who knows if the human spirit rises upward And if the spirit of the animal goes downward Into the earth I mean that's intense right I think what it's saying here though

[00:43:47] Is I think that a lot of us have gotten out of touch With our natural roots And I don't think it's un-Christian I think it's right here in the scripture That we should also be in harmony with the natural world Not just the laws that govern the universe

[00:44:01] And the way things are And accepting things as they are As we work on improving ourselves And making life better for everybody right That we think so much of ourselves And you know there are those of us Who have been taught to think nothing of ourselves

[00:44:16] But there is a balance here You know when you love yourself And accept yourself That doesn't mean you think you're better than anybody else It doesn't mean you think you're above life Or above things that are Or definitely not above God

[00:44:29] It means that we accept things as they are That we love ourselves in that process And that we live in harmony with things When we live in harmony with things We do love ourselves right Because how can hating yourself do anything

[00:44:41] How is that going to make anything any better And so it says so I saw that there is nothing better For a person to enjoy their work Because that is their lot For who can bring them to see what will happen after them That is so intense right

[00:44:56] But I love Ecclesiastes Because it goes with a lot of that philosophy And like I said a lot of what I teach is from the New Testament Or it's from philosophy It's from psychology and it's from science And I think sometimes just kind of taking a step back

[00:45:11] And looking at more universal principles How do they apply to a trauma survivor? Very much so And how do a lot of these different beliefs Interconnect There is a lot of commentary there And so Ecclesiastes there is a lot of wisdom there

[00:45:27] And there is a lot of stuff in Provers and Psalms that reinforce this as well And even Jesus talks about in quotes a lot of these scriptures in the New Testament So the whole point of this is The pursuit of peace and acceptance is everything

[00:45:40] Because that is the foundation for everything else that we do Including our healing work The motivation should not be I'm not good enough I need to improve myself That's more like a struggle The base and the motivation always come back to your motives

[00:45:57] And question those and examine those The base should come out of peace The base and motives should come out of harmony with what is And acceptance that doesn't mean like I said that we like things that are difficult That doesn't mean we don't say this is difficult

[00:46:13] The Ecclesiastes talks about good and bad, wicked and good All over the place it accepts and it uses those labels I don't think we have to just throw those labels out to accept things But charging that energy more than it has to be if it's something difficult

[00:46:30] Doesn't help either And so sometimes just pushing something aside and letting it be I'm not talking about suppressing or dissociating or denial But just kind of let it be there and accepting it

[00:46:42] And then coming back to it when you've got a clear mind and coming at it with a very simple Childlike honesty can be so helpful I don't know if any of this is made any sense I hope it has it's got it was kind of deep

[00:46:55] So thank you for following me and going with me on this journey And like I said when I started I didn't know where it would go And I don't like to do these sort of philosophical ones very often Because I don't know how much people get from them

[00:47:08] But I wanted to use this because this book The Dahl of Poo has had such an influence on me And I've seen the connections it has to acclesiastes and proverbs and Job and Psalms And so I wanted to read some of the scriptures from acclesiastes

[00:47:23] And just kind of make a connection there So you can see how The concept of simplicity and the concept of acceptance is universal And how it's something that we can pursue in our everyday lives And we can see it everywhere we go

[00:47:38] And that you find happiness and you find peace in humility and in meekness and in gentleness Not in harshness, not in pushing, not in struggling You know there is a time, peace, and a time for war And all of that but that's more like in the world

[00:47:54] And we all like to have a world without war It's really sad what's going on in the middle east And in Israel right now it's very sad what's going on in the Ukraine It's very complicated and I've just taken sort of a humble view of it

[00:48:06] I don't fully understand it all And I'm not going to get into it But I, you know, just pray for those people in try to You know if there's anything you can do to offer aid or help then do that

[00:48:18] You know but just remember that everybody on all sides There's children, there's innocent people involved that are not provoking or causing any of this And it's important that we remember people's humanity Even people going over the fence and through the Rio Grande

[00:48:33] And in this country are still human beings that God made And I think a lot of people are dehumanizing the other side And I think that, I don't like us that I don't want to get on the soapbox or get into this too much

[00:48:44] But we need to remember that God made us all that we're all human And that God commanded us to love everybody That's hard for me too because there are some people I don't want to love I just, it's, I struggle there's a couple of people in this world

[00:48:58] I won't say who they are there's a couple of people in this world I struggle to even like want good for them or love them So for those people just pray for them And pray for the people who are struggling

[00:49:09] Even if you don't fully understand where they're coming from I'm trying it's been hard and I was being very hateful for a while Myself about certain things too and I can't do that anymore It's not what God called us to do

[00:49:20] Our faith and our love for the people who are in the world And our love for other people Our love for the universal Worthingess of all human beings Comes above any political affiliation Our command to love God and to love our neighbor comes first No matter what

[00:49:40] Just saying I'm not saying anything else But just remember that you are loved You're a fearfully and wonderfully made God loves you and that acceptance in peace And just being simple and not complicating things Just keep coming back to those, keep examining your motives

[00:49:58] Where am I coming from at this? Am I struggling with this? Am I doing this because I think I'm not good enough Or am I doing this because I want to be better There's a fine line there But there is a difference

[00:50:11] Am I trying to force this or am I kind of flowing with it So that's where you find containment in your emotional state Containment is where you process your difficult emotions a little bit at a time You accept them, you offer yourself a larger body of compassion

[00:50:27] Around that emotion that's within that And then you don't let the emotion completely take you over You don't completely give into it But at the same time you allow yourself to feel it a little bit And that's where the acorn technique That's exactly what that teaches

[00:50:42] It teaches how to process difficult emotions And part of that is acceptance So I hope this has been helpful I hope that you have a wonderful day I hope that God blesses you And I hope that you will think about when you're interacting with people

[00:50:56] You don't agree with No matter how worked up you get No matter how strongly you feel about something No matter what side you're on, I don't even care Just remember that everybody's human Don't forget the humanity of the person that doesn't think like

[00:51:11] You don't forget the humanity of that man crossing the border Don't forget the humanity of that transgender child Don't forget the humanity of that Trump supporter I don't care who they are They're all human, God make them all and God loves them all

[00:51:27] And we are supposed to love them too That's hard right? But that's true And God loves everybody And I'll leave it to God to judge people And you know, we have to follow our convictions Of course, but I also believe that

[00:51:43] We, it's God up to God to sort them out We love them and God's or the man Okay? So thank you so much for listening God bless you have a wonderful day And remember beloveds you are Fearfully and wonderfully made and God loves you

[00:51:55] Thank you so much for tuning into this week's episode Of Christian Emotional Recovery Hosted by Rachel LaRoy For links to this week's resources And to join the discussion Check out this episode's show notes At Christian Emotional Recovery Where you can also find links to our YouTube channel

[00:52:15] And Facebook group Join our email list and get other episodes and resources If you enjoyed the podcast Please rate and review the podcast And tell a friend who may benefit from this message See you next time And remember beloveds God loves you

[00:52:33] And you are fearfully and wonderfully made