Episode 1 Season 4: Staying on the Healing Path

[00:00:00] Hello beloveds and welcome to Christian Emotional Recovery, a podcast for those who are survivors of childhood trauma, emotional neglect and narcissistic abuse. This podcast is hosted by Rachel Leroy, a college professor and trauma survivor. Many of us spend years trying to heal and don't get anywhere.

[00:00:28] We don't always target the trauma itself, which is so often what keeps us stuck. This podcast is where faith meets science. Rachel is an emotional healing expert with 20 years of experience applying healing modalities that helped her start making progress after nothing else worked.

[00:00:49] She'll show you how to do the same. Each week we'll cover a topic that will show you how to heal trauma for good. Please check out our website and show notes at Christianemotionalrecovery.com Enjoying the Facebook community, Trauma Survivors Unite, Christian Emotional Recovery

[00:01:09] Hello everyone and welcome to a new season of Christian Emotional Recovery I'm your host Rachel Leroy and this is Season 4 So we're moving around along and I look forward to seeing where the podcast and the platform takes us this year

[00:01:31] and what God has in store for the healing journey. I'm glad you're here. I'm thankful that you're listening And I hope that this podcast is benefiting you on your healing journey that it's empowering you to make changes in your life

[00:01:45] And that it's part of your walk with God as you find healing from your trauma, from childhood emotional neglect, from narcissistic abuse, other forms of trauma and abuse and other emotional types of issues

[00:01:59] Thank you so much for being here with me in this new season. This is Season 4 episode 1 And the episode for the first podcast this year is staying on the healing path. So it's season 4 episode 1, staying on the healing path.

[00:02:19] Now some of the podcast episodes that I create, I just turn on the microphone and I speak from a heart. Other ones I have an elaborate outline and some of them I have a basic outline. This is one where I have no idea what's going to come out of my heart

[00:02:35] I'm going to let God put on me what I need to say for you today. So bear with me and thank you for following along And before we get started though, I want to remind you that there are other resources on the channel that include the Facebook group

[00:02:51] You can see that in the link to that in the show notes. That's Christian emotional recovery trauma survivors unite Also check out the podcast website the podcast website itself is Christian Emotional Recovery.com If you'd like to see other resources including free resources go to Rachellyroy.com

[00:03:10] That's Rachellyroy.com And they'll be one for light the healing path. You'll see one for writers and then one for the healing path. Choose that and you can find all kinds of resources

[00:03:21] Services and you can also purchase meditations at the store and this year I am working on putting some more meditations out

[00:03:29] And putting out some more products for the store to help sustain the podcast because it does take help to make it grow to pay for it and to continue to be able to do this work in this ministry

[00:03:39] So your help in your assistance is greatly appreciated if you believe in what this is doing if you'd like to help other trauma survivors like yourself and help me to be able to reach more people

[00:03:49] And to be able to continue to sustain this since it does take time out of my work week as well as um like I said there are expenses incurred and I love doing this work I'm so thankful for this platform

[00:04:01] But if you'd like to give you can go to patreon and that will be linked in the show notes patreon You can give 10 25 or $5 a month or you can give one time any amount at cofi.com

[00:04:17] That's k-o-fi.com also linked in the show notes. So if you'd like to support the healing work that this does for yourself For people that you love who may have gone through something similar and or for other trauma survivors

[00:04:30] You can donate there. Thank you so much, and also the YouTube channel I am experiencing some health issues, so I'm not sure when there will be new videos, but there will be new videos in the near future And I put those out as much as I can

[00:04:43] But feel free to subscribe there is material there that is not On the podcast it's unique to the YouTube channel. So check out the link to the YouTube channel Also called Christian emotional recovery But let's go ahead and jump right in and get started

[00:04:57] So um staying on the healing path is um there's a lot of facets to that But staying on the healing path involves I'm going to share some of my own personal experience Because you know we all have our ups and downs our abs and flows

[00:05:12] The times when we're really really dedicated the times when we're busy the times when things get stressful The times when we slack off And those are all part of the natural flow of the healing process to some degree You know if you are on the healing journey

[00:05:27] You're not going to be on top of everything doing your healing work and your healing practices every day all the time It's not realistic to always be on top of everything all the time Nobody is we all slack off. We all have setbacks

[00:05:41] We all experience things that can slow us down or even stop us in our tracks And the whole point of the process is that the nature of healing is three steps forward and two steps back Two steps forward and one step back and so on

[00:05:57] So it's not linear you see those maybe pictures or memes on Facebook or somewhere else Where it shows what people say the healing journey is like or progress As like and it shows somebody walking across a bridge and a straight line

[00:06:11] And then it shows what it's really like and it shows like all these squiggly and looped loops marks And it's going in every direction but it's still moving forward overall That's more what reality is

[00:06:22] Progress on the healing journey and also the work that we do in our progress is actually more A combination of cyclical and linear and what I mean by that is that we move forward overall which is linear

[00:06:37] But we cycle around as well so we may take a step back or we may make slow our progress Or we may even regress a little bit and that's not anything to beat on ourselves about that's actually a natural normal part of the process

[00:06:51] And so if you do that there's no need to fill bad There's no need to beat on yourself. That's a natural part of the flow of the healing journey

[00:07:01] And so let's talk about some of the things that can affect the progress of our healing and what the nature of those is and how we should respond to those

[00:07:11] One thing that when we're on the healing journey whether we meditate every day or we have a devotional and we journal And that's a combination of our spiritual life and our healing journey whatever your practice may be

[00:07:23] Are you experiment with different things and try different courses and keep changing it up? The key is that you're doing the healing work The key is that you're moving forward. The key is that you continue to try and you don't give up

[00:07:36] The key is that you have a good attitude about the healing process but also a realistic one about it Slapping off and at other times having more fire and zeal sort of speak

[00:07:48] We do that in our walk in our faith. There's an ebb and a flow in that too So with our healing journey it's going to be the same way And there's a lot of factors that can come into play things may get busy or stressful

[00:07:59] We may just not be doing the healing work as much We may be taking a break We may be forget about things for a while or get distracted

[00:08:09] We may be trying to do it and it's just you know we go through these dry periods where maybe you're working hard And you're not making as much progress. Maybe you even feel like you're spinning your wheels in the mud

[00:08:19] And so you just stop doing things for a while You know what? Stopping and taking a break from the healing work for a week or two And just getting some rest and refocusing can actually be very helpful And actually refocus us on the healing journey

[00:08:34] So if we slack off and it's for a little while or if we take a break which is not slacking off That's not necessarily a bad thing We need those breaks in those times to breathe

[00:08:45] And also if we push and force the healing process and try to rush it at an unnatural pace It can actually backfire So it's good to actually go at our own pace Be gentle with ourselves Take our time but move steadily and slowly forward

[00:09:00] And that will also include taking breaks on occasion Because that's part of the healing journey as well Now when I say a break I'm talking about you know two weeks Maybe in some really intense situations a couple of months But not a couple of years

[00:09:16] So you know you've got to find some balance there So if you slack off don't beat on yourself If you make a conscious choice to take a break, take a break and enjoy it You might do some maintenance just so you know what I found

[00:09:29] Is that when I haven't been doing my healing work I can tell I can tell the difference And so you've got to find that balance there right So if you want to do the healing work and you want to stay on the healing journey

[00:09:41] It's about finding that balance so you don't burn yourself out So when you're moving forward and you are working on things If something's not working try something else If you're getting frustrated don't force it Change directions or try another strategy Or get some advice from somebody you trust

[00:09:59] Somebody who loves you and somebody who understands the journey you're on Pray about it I know that sounds cliche but praying about it in a calm way Can actually help you get helpful feedback that might give you a fresh perspective

[00:10:11] So if you slack off whether it, I mean if it's because you are feeling helpless Or because you're just forgetting about things or things get busy Or you just don't do the work because you're kind of being lazy Sometimes that might be the case Don't beat on yourself

[00:10:27] Once you realize that you've slacked off Just kind of come back Get back into practice Easier way back into it You don't have to dive in head first You know, test the waters And see where you're at and see what makes sense

[00:10:41] Now to get back into the practice of things If you've been away from practice for a while Start somewhere simple If something you've done a lot of so you can kind of get back into that mode And then maybe ease yourself into something that is less familiar

[00:10:54] Start with something that's gentler And then if you're doing some of these more powerful or challenging Healing work Such as some of the really deep somatic work EMDR or something like that Then maybe you start with the gentler stuff

[00:11:10] And gradually work your way back into the tougher stuff And of course as always Paste yourself with that Do it safely and do it in a reasonable amount at a time Starting with the easy stuff And then getting back into the more challenging stuff

[00:11:25] And there will be times where you're doing a lot And you just know in your gut That you can keep going And so if at those times proceed But proceed carefully Don't force it Again don't force it

[00:11:38] But if you just feel that energy tug and you feel God guiding you Carefully move forward And if you have to stop any practice at any time Because it's just too much then stop That's okay Now just because it feels a little uncomfortable

[00:11:51] That's not necessarily a reason to stop Right So you keep moving forward in your healing practice And those are some tips in terms of slacking and stuff So if you have interruptions in your life Maybe a trauma happens Maybe you have chronic conditions and you get interrupted

[00:12:07] Maybe you have something that triggers major panic attacks And you're just completely frozen Or you get completely diverted Or you just can't do the work You're just frozen or something If you ever get in a place like that Show yourself some grace

[00:12:22] There will be a time when you can come back to your regular practice But if you need that extra nurturing And that extra self care Then maybe do the gentler stuff at that time Maybe do take a long hot bath Maybe listen to those by narrow beats

[00:12:37] Or the quiet meditative music and just relax Maybe do the gentle meditations that help you to feel better And soothe you Instead of the ones where you're dealing with difficult emotions Maybe you do a little bit of both but very, very carefully

[00:12:51] And maybe you do a little bit of bodywork instead of a lot So if you get interrupted by something traumatic or stressful That's really a big deal Then just show yourself some grace Slow down and realize that you can come back to it later It can be frustrating

[00:13:08] I know I've been there so many times I understand And it's frustrating And you start to feel guilt And fear Because you get foam, fear of missing out And fear of missing out is so toxic And so unhealthy Because it makes you feel guilty

[00:13:26] And puts pressure on you that maybe at that time you don't need Maybe you need to just be taken care of yourself In that moment and at that time with the circumstances you're dealing with And deal with that first And then once you feel better

[00:13:38] Once you've dealt with that Once you find some stability Once you're in a better place Then you can come back After you've had a crisis or something really difficult And once that stabilizes Then you can ease back into your practice

[00:13:51] Kind of like when I was talking about before Where you start with something lie and then work your way into the more challenging stuff But if you're going through something really, really difficult Trying to force all of that Hard core healing work Isn't always the best approach

[00:14:05] Sometimes it's better to take a slower gentler approach in those situations But you'll find that there are times where you make more progress than others And the key there is just to be gentle with yourself Be kind to yourself And accept that that's part of the process too

[00:14:19] And so if you slack off on the healing journey That's part of the process It cycles and it abs and it flows That's also part of the process And if you face a crisis Whether like I said it's a trauma or something happens in your family

[00:14:35] Or you have a health crisis Or anything like that becomes up You need to be gentle and kind with yourself And take care of yourself at that time And just deal with what's in front of you Okay and in a way that's also part of the healing journey

[00:14:48] And part of the healing process So it's not anything to beat on yourself about Don't layer that is what I'm saying And layering is when you already have something where maybe you're not feeling great Maybe you're angry or you're sad or you're anxious Or you're panicky

[00:15:04] Or there's pain or something And then you layer on top of that by feeling guilty By beating on yourself by pressuring yourself by being hard on yourself Do not do that Step away Take a breath Back off And give yourself some time and be patient with yourself

[00:15:23] That's the time you need to be the kindest to yourself That's the time that you need to set the most boundaries There are times where you're going to want to help other people Because that's what Christ has commanded us to do

[00:15:34] But there might be times where you're able to do that more Than others And that's okay, especially for those of us that have mental health issues That challenge our daily functioning Or healthy issues that challenge our daily functioning

[00:15:47] You do what you can and you don't worry about the rest You do what you can and then you let leave the rest to God I know that's easier said than done And I struggle with that myself I really have so I understand how that feels

[00:16:01] But that is just a reminder Some of this stuff I'm saying in this podcast episode is obvious But sometimes I think it's good and important to get back to basics And so I just wanted to talk a little bit This is a short episode to get started

[00:16:14] I wanted to talk a little bit about how to stay on the healing path And just some of the basic nature of how to deal with interruptions How to deal with step back Or setbacks, minor end, larger ones How to approach the healing work that you're doing

[00:16:35] How to deal with lacking off and when to take a break And how to come back from a setback Or taking a break or anything like that So how do you do your daily practice? What should your daily practice in town? I cannot answer that question

[00:16:52] I know that sounds like a cop out But I really can't answer that question for you Because everybody is so different And everybody's experience is so different Excuse my cat, you may hear her on the background But I can give you some pointers that will help you

[00:17:07] At least to know how to go about finding what the best daily practice for you is For example, if you're going to be on the healing path You do need to have some kind of daily practice Does that mean you have to do something ervary single day?

[00:17:21] No, does it mean you need to do something on a regular basis That would entail being regular? Yes, you do Because if you're going to recondition and retrain your mind Part of trauma healing is in the body and it's body work

[00:17:37] Part of it is in the mind and it's mind work And so to rewire your body and your mind and your neural network It takes repetition And it takes patience, it takes the long haul I've said it before and I'll say it again

[00:17:51] That the healing process is rigorous And it's not for the faint of heart and it's not easy And it's difficult and sometimes it's very scary And sometimes it's very lonely even at times And that's why I encourage people to find community

[00:18:06] That's why I provide community in this group In Christian emotional recovery That's why listening to podcasts and reading books and taking courses And meditating and doing journaling and praying and doing devotionals And whatever other practices are helpful for you

[00:18:23] That's why engaging in those on a regular basis is so important Because it's not just about rewiring your brain Even though it is and it's not just releasing trauma in the body Even though it is It's also about Feeling a sense of connection and community

[00:18:38] Because part of what takes trauma Trauma is the imbalance of your neural network in a lot of ways You respond with a fight or flight or maybe a dissociating response To a certain trigger, right? Or a certain situation or just in general

[00:18:57] You might be more oriented that way And so by reconditioning yourself You're bringing yourself back to the middle Back to that place where you have containment And so doing those practices helps you to find that balance But it's also about connection Trauma is about loneliness and disconnection

[00:19:14] And dissociation and isolation and feeling scared And healing trauma is about community and connection And having resources and having agency And having choices And so doing the daily practice gives you more of those things And so when it comes to daily practice

[00:19:32] I would definitely say that if you have trauma in your body You definitely need to do some kind of somatic or body work And I talked about several ways before there's a lot of podcast episodes Especially from the first season or two about specific practices

[00:19:48] That can help you with your neural network With trauma in the body, with releasing those physical Visceral responses in the brain and in the body that you have To trauma triggers And some of those would include somatic therapy They would include therapy with a licensed professional

[00:20:07] For example EMDR I moved based synthesization therapy Also brain-spotting, grounding, doing grounding There are a lot of good specialists that do different types of body Work in terms of art and writing Journalists can be a body type therapy But there's also a lot of mind therapies like journaling

[00:20:30] Meditation, meditation can be a part of the body Like journaling, meditation, meditation can be body based as well Keep in mind, especially if you're doing like a grounding or a body scan Or some kind of releasing of difficult emotions Type meditation So meditation is another good daily practice

[00:20:51] A lot of people use And when I make suggestions that doesn't mean you have to use any Or all of them but doing that daily practice and doing it Regularly and hitting it from different directions Is really important So doing something for your mind

[00:21:04] Doing something for your body Doing something where you feel connected Doing something that helps you regulate your nervous system Doing something that helps you to rewire your Faulty programming that was not your fault to begin with Regarding the fact that you feel inferior Or you don't feel safe

[00:21:21] Rewiring that stuff so you know you are loved And that you are safe and that you are worthy And that God loves you and that you are valuable Intrinsically Knowing all of those things is so important And then the body work like I said

[00:21:34] Help you to feel safe physically And helps you to change your physical response To things And helps you to create more space between a trigger And a reaction And that space in between is where you choose to respond And that's where you start to change

[00:21:48] Your actual response is the situation So you actually see this stuff come to play in your life You can do daily practice all day long though And it only helps if you apply it in your daily life And that's why I say easy does it

[00:22:02] A little bit at a time Don't try to do everything at once There are going to be times where you get quick delivery There's going to be times where you have miracles There's going to be times where you have a break Through moment we all have those

[00:22:13] But generally speaking you're going to see I've said this really cheesy saying many times But it sticks with you So and that is if you're an American We use English measurements Yard by yard life is hard but inch by inch Life's a cinch

[00:22:29] And so I just wanted to talk a little bit about What does a daily practice in tail? What time of the day should you do it? There is no certain time of the day Having a regular practice Doing it around the same time of the day

[00:22:42] Can be helpful Having some kind of regular schedule Maybe for example Some people may meditate 15 to 30 minutes every morning And then they may journal For 15 minutes at night Or somebody may pray And meditate for 20 minutes in the morning And do a short devotional And then in the evening

[00:22:58] Maybe you go for a walk or something So it doesn't have to be anything elaborate It could be simple Maybe somebody does journaling twice a week And then follow their heart And when the mood hits Or when something's really strong Go ahead and do it spontaneously

[00:23:14] It doesn't all have to be on a schedule But having that schedule Having that regular practice Helps you to stay in the habit Is what I'm saying So you have to find the combination that works for you A couple of tricks

[00:23:26] If you meditate right before you go to sleep at night Or right when you wake up in the morning Your mind is in more of a It's in more of a brain wave state Where it's more receptive And things go into the unconscious mind More easily

[00:23:40] You're still sort of in that dream state So if you meditate or you do affirmations Or do your devotionals It may have more impact It doesn't mean that if you do it It's not going to have impact It definitely will

[00:23:52] But I'm just saying that that is a trick That you can do as well Where that stuff will seep And sink into your unconscious mind And into your body more readily But of course be gentle with yourself Because if you're like me You're not a morning person

[00:24:05] So don't try to force it Do gentle stuff And do what you can do at the time And dear in the time of the day that works for you So is there a one-sass fits all With daily practice? No But doing a combination of body and mind work

[00:24:17] Making sure that you take the time to build your relationship with God And also making sure that you have some kind of a regular practice Doing what works for you and continuing to adjust and re-adjust As things evolve Those are some tips that can help you

[00:24:31] To find and create a daily practice that is productive That's tailored to your needs And that continues to evolve and grow as you evolve and grow Just keep changing it up Do something for a regular time for a while And then as things evolve

[00:24:46] Something is it working adapt it Add to it take away from it Trust something different and just keep working on it To you find something that works And then if it works stick with it for a while And then maybe try something more As you're trying to grow

[00:24:59] You don't want to stay in the same place of course But some consistency in your practice is also helpful So finding that balance is a good thing as well Okay? And so I hope this is giving you some strategies to help you Most of the podcast episodes

[00:25:13] Will be longer but I wanted to go ahead and share and get one out And in the upcoming weeks There will be a podcast coming out on trauma re-enactment and patterns And that's also known as That's also known as repetition compulsion So we'll have an episode

[00:25:33] I'm not sure if it's the next one But one of the upcoming episodes is trauma re-enactments And also known as repetition compulsion And that's an upcoming episode And we'll be having some upcoming episodes on Getting closure when hurtful people Art sorry and forgiveness

[00:25:52] That's a tough one because I haven't done Good there myself sometimes And I sometimes feel like I shouldn't talk on ones Where I'm still struggling That I'll just be honest with you and share some insights If that's okay So getting closure when hurtful people aren't sorry And forgiveness

[00:26:07] And we'll also be talking about the power of shame And what to do about it The power of shame and what to do about it We'll continue to talk about narcissistic abuse But there's a lot of terms that have become buzzwords in society People overuse the term narcissist

[00:26:23] People overuse the term gaslighting People are overusing a lot of these terms And actually twisting them around And I'm actually seeing more people that actually gaslight people And more narcissists calling other people Out for that when they're the ones doing it

[00:26:38] And so I want to continue to teach on these things But I want to focus on other elements of healing as well And so we'll be moving in that direction a little more this time We'll still talk about narcissistic abuse of course In gaslighting and things like that

[00:26:51] But I want to talk more about some of these other aspects of healing Which we kind of got more into in season three So those are some of the things that you can look forward to And the upcoming season Once I have more of an idea

[00:27:03] I'll let you know about some more episodes And about the YouTube channel I don't have anything for it right now But I will and then your future as well Thank you so much for listening Remember that you are fearfully and wonderfully made

[00:27:16] And don't forget about the resources that I shared with you at the beginning of the podcast The YouTube channel You can donate on co-fi, one time or You can donate monthly At Patreon, check out the Facebook group

[00:27:30] Christian emotional recovery and check out the website that has a lot more resources Including an email list I have started sending out I sent out the first email I haven't done any more But I will be sending out more emails And hopefully doing something regular there

[00:27:44] I just got it I do what I can So thank you for your patience God bless you And remember the love of your fearfully And wonderfully made and God loves you And this is season four Episode one on Staying on the healing path Staying on the healing path

[00:28:03] Thank you so much And remember the other episodes and resources If you enjoyed the podcast Please rate and review the podcast And tell a friend who may benefit from this message See you next time And remember beloveds God loves you And you are fearfully and wonderfully made