Trauma bonding and cognitive dissonance help explain why people stay in bad relationships. Trauma bonding is when a someone becomes emotionally attached to their abuser. This often happens in relationships where the abuser switches between being nice and being cruel. Cognitive dissonance is the mental discomfort felt when someone has conflicting thoughts or beliefs due to this confusing mix. People try to reduce this discomfort by changing their thoughts or behaviors or downplaying or denying the abuse. Trauma bonding and cognitive dissonance together create a powerful psychological trap that can keep individuals in abusive relationships. Understanding this connection can be crucial for breaking free from abusive relationships and for those trying to support survivors, as it shows the challenges of leaving an abusive situation and the need for healing these bonds and disconnects. Understanding the connection between these two concepts can help you move from confusion to clarity. With the right tools and education, you can break free.
Resources
"Cognitive Dissonance and the Discomfort of Holding Conflicting Beliefs" in Very Well Mind by Kendra Cherry, MSEd https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-cognitive-dissonance-2795012
"Cognitive Dissonance Makes You Feel Crazy" in Confusion to Clarity by Helena Knowlton https://www.confusiontoclaritynow.com/blog/cognitive-dissonance-makes-you-feel-crazy
"Trauma Bonding: Definitions, Stages, and Recovery" in Sandstone Care by Deborah Quinn https://www.sandstonecare.com/blog/trauma-bonding/#:~:text=The%207%20stages%20of%20the,well%20as%20resignation%20and%20submission.
"How to Free From a Trauma Bond" in Psychology Today by John Kim, LMFT https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-angry-therapist/202310/how-to-break-free-from-a-trauma-bond
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